Living sensibly
I ponder deep in my thoughts sometimes asking myself “what am I really afraid?” “ How did I develop self-esteem issues?” and “what kind of environment harbored these issues?”
Where is this fear oozing out from? Human minds are already complex and I am not sure where all these issues are popping out from.
Schooling in a conservative country and the kind of teaching method my teachers followed. I think it made a huge impact on me.
At the core of everything, I wonder what I am craving for? What is that antidote that I am missing? How will I cover this hole?
I am still trying to be brutally honest with myself. To be brutally honest with oneself is trying to look at one’s life and see where we are at fault. Trying to evaluate our own coping mechanism. Every human has different ideas and ability to cope with unfavorable situations.
Those who are scarred will have different sets of coping mechanism.
Coping mechanisms are for living a healthier life but some only use coping mechanisms for survival. Just getting through an unfavorable situation and being satisfied for making to the other end without proper outcome. A healthier coping mechanism not only gets us to the other end but also gets us pleasant outcome.
The good mechanism can be waking up early having a ritual, doing something for the mind and body. Journaling and keeping it real, not trying to get caught up in the wave.
So being honest with oneself is finding that coping mechanism that works for oneself and stick to it till we see the results. Like a reminder we set on our i-phones for important tasks, we have to keep a mental reminder for ourselves. Reminding every minute of the day, not to get caught in the spiraling detrimental thoughts. Do that consciously without failing and really trying to see the outcome. That would be a true achievement, to master this kind of control and harness our inner light.
It’s so much easier to do what everyone is doing but doing something different requires a certain amount of insanity. But isn’t it worth it at the end, if everything you do is to protect your dream? Because it’s all that matters at the end.
What is being alive if you are not doing the things you love?
